Erotic female orgasm inhibitors

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Erotic instructions for female ejaculation

Inhibitors: Things that can inhibit a woman from being able to achieve female ejaculation can vary. Here a few examples of myths, inhibiting factors and false belief systems, and physical challenges that women may find themselves struggling with…

Psychological Inhibitors

1) A mindset that this is dirty, unnatural and immoral.

2) Body image issues of feeling less feminine because she may “squirt” and make a mess.

3) Thinking that she won’t be able to do it.

4) Feeling overly pressured to do it, and suffering from performance anxiety.

5) Feeling guilt for allowing her self to have sexual pleasure, by perceiving it as “wrong.”

6) Feeling selfish for receiving pleasure from a partner (Many women like to be the “pleasing type” and forget about their own sexual desires and needs).
7) Worrying that someone will find out that she did something that is not commonly spoken about and see it as a taboo activity.

8) Feeling that her own ejaculate fluid is repulsive.

9) Afraid that she will be “inadequate” if she tries and is unable to do it.

10) Feeling like she is doing something only porn actresses would do and feeling “dirty.”

11) Feeling embarrassed for not having known about it before and suddenly feeling naive about her own sexuality.

12) Worrying that it may hurt or cause damage to her genitals.

13) Worrying that she may never be able to control whether she wants to ejaculate in the future again, left with only being able to have an orgasm and gushing out fluid even when she does not desire to.

14) Making the error of trying too hard, and not allowing herself to relax enough to open the urethral tube to allow the fluid to come out.

15) Having sexual abuse issues that have not been resolved, or may be resurfacing and need attention.

16) Having relationship conflicts that do not allow her to feel uninhibited sexually, or creating a loss of sex drive.

Physical Inhibitors

1) Not finding the right sexual stimulus or combination of sexual stimuli to aide her in reaching an orgasm.

2) Not having an environment that is conducive to relaxing her enough to reach that point of letting go.

3) Not having enough time to reach the level of arousal to achieve it.

4) Being in an awkward position that is not conducive to providing maximum sexual pleasure.

5) Having a medical condition or factor that would inhibit sexual responsiveness (such as a hysterectomy, c-section that may have damaged sensitive nerve endings responsible for sexual stimulation).

6) Having a side effect from medication or herbs that may be decreasing the blood flow to the genitals or decreasing libido.

7) Experiencing pain from a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) or other medical condition.

First female ejaculation experience

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How to achieve female ejaculation

My first female ejaculation experience, and how it can help you understand how to achieve female ejaculation
For years I would often feel like I had to pee during sexual activity, and in fact, I often used to try not to go pee before sex, because I figured the full bladder was what was giving me that added pleasureful feeling. I was a bit off on that assumption to say the least. In the beginning I indicated that after learning of female ejaculation I decided that I simply had to try to see if I could do it. It was after having found out that a girlfriend of mine did it, and having seen it on the web. I felt so intrigued, that I began to learn all I could about it. The following is some detail of how I was able to first discover that it was not only possible for me, but for all women.
I am the curious type, as well as analytical…so when my girlfriend mentioned that she had the “oddity” of being able to squirt out cum, I had to know more. “How much are you talking about?” I asked. My friend paused and said… “…A lot!,“ up to two cups -“Wow,” I said, “how long have you been doing this?” She said that it was around the time that she had her first child. Now my mind was churning out reasons as to why it would only have started for her then. I had a child, and yet nothing of the like had happened to me. I wondered if it had a correlation of some sort, so I continued with my questions. I asked her if she thought she could be peeing due to some “freaky” incontinence that occurred during her pregnancy. She assured me that it was not urine. She explained that it was a sweet smelling watery cum, unlike the kind that oozes out of the vagina when we chicks get excited, which is thicker and milkier. This was a large amount (up to two cups of fluid) and it shot out of her with force.
My analytical mind was racing for a cause as I continued my probing… “How far does it shoot out?” She laughed, and explained that sometimes it seemed to shoot half way across the room. I was floored! That was something I had never heard of, and it was certainly fascinating. “Do you do it every time you have an orgasm?” I asked. “No, in fact I don’t have to have an orgasm to do it” she said. Now I was really confused. I was thinking that this had to be some odd medical condition and that she should make an appointment to see her Gynecologist. Yet, before I suggested something like that, I wanted to know more. We talked for about an hour, discussing everything from what it felt like to how it happened, and what we thought it was. Now any one who knows me, knows that I cannot leave anything this “juicy” left to doubt… so I went to the almighty Internet to get my answers. What I found was some really confusing and contradicting information. No matter what article, journal, book or web site I found, nothing was telling me adequate or accurate information. I was starving for the truth, and felt I had nowhere to turn. How was I supposed to learn if I could do this if I could not find anything that said if it was a normal or a common female function? Even my own Gynecologist was not helpful and said that it only happened in some women, and nothing more. My husband and I even rented some of the most “popular” female ejaculation educational/adult videos and let me say that they were ALL a complete let down. They all possessed one of two qualities (or both) they were inaccurate or boring!  I wanted to know if all women could do it, or if only some women could. If only some women could do it, why? What was it about them that allowed them to do this intriguing sexual display? Was there something about their ability to produce fluid, was it the way they were put together that was different than the women who did not do it?
I wondered if I could do it, but also wondered why I had not. If I was a woman that was to later find out I could, then why hadn’t I? I went to several really elaborate sex education books for research and only found reassurance from them that if I were one of the rare women that could do it, that it was not a dysfunctional thing and to not be embarrassed. That was it! How was I supposed to learn about female ejaculation and what it was all about if I could not get answers anywhere? I called my girlfriend again, this time determined to talk it through until I figured out how to do it. From my research, I knew that I needed to be sexually stimulated for this to happen, and I had a feeling that I was going to need to stimulate my g-spot. Then my girlfriend said the magic words during our conversation that got me headed in the right direction. She said that before it happened that she always felt like she had to pee, and instead of holding back she would push, and push hard. All my memories of feeling like I had to pee during sex came rushing into my mind, and I thought that if I had simply pushed, rather than held back (what I thought would be urine) then I would have been doing this sexy release too!

I decided that if I were going to try doing this that I would first try it by myself to avoid feeling inhibited or concerned about what it was going to be like in front of my hubby. Then I decided that it would be best to masturbate in a place where I wouldn’t be “psyching” myself out that I was going to get the entire bedroom soaked. Thus, I decided to do it in the bathtub without water, so that I would be sure to see it if I was able to do it, rather than have it disappear into water and not be sure.

I thought to myself why I would have held back before, and realized that most women hold back during sex feeling that if they were to push that they might have pee, poop, or have gas come out and how embarrassing that might be to our unsuspecting lover! So before I began my great adventure, I made sure to use the bathroom so that I was on “empty” in every category. I peed every drop I could squeeze so that there would be no left of urine that would come out. I wanted to be absolutely sure that if something gushed out, that it was this mysterious, sweet; watery cum I had heard about. Stripped down, and laying on a towel in the bathtub, I began my masturbation session. Instead of turning to a fantasy, I simply tuned into my body, becoming very aware of all of the sensations that I was having. I used a g-spot toy of mine to stimulate my g-spot (Paraurethral/Skenes Glands) as well as my fingers over my clitoris. I wanted to make sure I was very sexually aroused so that if I was going to be able to do it that I would have a lot of cum gush out.

Self talk is important in building sexual excitement, so one thing I did say to myself was that if this did not happen, that I would just try again later so as not to put any unnecessary psychological pressure on myself. I did not want to give myself any performance anxiety. That was another reason I wanted to first try this alone.
I felt my body responding to the masturbation and a few times, I began to feel a slight hint that I might have to pee. I continued to stimulate myself and finally it was there… an overwhelming feeling of having to pee. Knowing that I had just urinated (a lot) I knew that I did not have to pee, and I also knew that this was my cue to push. Just as I began to have an orgasm and the feeling of having to urinate was at it’s height, I pushed hard… low and behold a gush of sweet, watery cum came out. It came out fast and with force. There was about two cups worth just gushing out of me. I looked down and could not believe my eyes. My thighs were soaked, the towel was soaked, some was running down the drain, and all I kept thinking was “I did it!” Never mind that it was the most intense orgasm I had ever had in my life, I was victorious!
Just for a second, I began to second-guess myself and thought… “Well, maybe it was pee…” but I reminded myself that it was cum, and then took the towel and smelled it. Sure enough it was filled with the sweet watery fluid that my friend and research had been describing. I was ecstatic, giddy, and proud. I was really happy to think that I was able to do this sexy, powerful, sexual release and I was laughing out loud in elation. Yayyyy!
My happiness soon turned to frustration. I was simply frustrated that I was in my early thirties, a sexually educated woman, mother, and psychotherapist and I did not know about female ejaculation, let alone know that I could do it? This was ridiculous! Why is any woman out there unaware that she can do this… what is wrong with our society that we have not researched this enough, or have it taught as basic sex education? During my research, I found an article regarding a ban in England of a movie that had female ejaculation in it because it was said to be “unnatural and lewd.” The movie makers won the case as it was later determined that this was not a “freaky” act, rather it was no different than a man ejaculating in a adult movie, and thus it was deemed viewable by the adult population.
My goal in writing this is to get the word out there. I spent many long days and nights researching and interviewing for this so that I could empower women and their partners to be educated about this. I hope that you will talk about this, and spread the news so that we all can finally celebrate women’s sexuality, and not deny it’s very capacities.
Needless to say, I have found my own personal relationship with female ejaculation to be rewarding through its intense physical pleasure in addition to its empowering psychological effects. I love it, my husband loves it, and I am sure you and your partner will too!

Basic female anatomy

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History of female ejaculation

Remembering That Male And Female Sex Organs Have A Common Origin

You might not think so from looking, but the male and female sex organs actually have a lot in common. Did you know that in the womb, we all start out as female? This is because we all start as the X chromosome. If another X is added we remain female, if a Y is added, our development changes to male and our female organs are transformed into male organs. On the backside of a penis are the remnants of a man’s “vagina” when his “male sex” was not yet determined and had female organs in early gestation. In addition, the highly sensitive spot on the back of a man’s penis, where the foreskin attaches… was the female clitoris. The g-spot in women is much like that of the prostate in a man, with subtle differences. The diagram to your right shows you where the g-spot is located.
How Do You Locate the Paraurethral/Skenes Glands?
First you will want to locate the urethra, which is located directly above the vaginal opening, and below the clitoris. You can actually see it by just getting a nice close look in between a chicks’ legs; although it can be harder to find in some cases, be patient and get out the flashlight, you’ll find it! While you can see the urethral opening, you won’t be able to see the Paraurethral/Skenes glands themselves. However, if you were to use a speculum, you might be able to see the Paraurethral/Skenes glands when they are swollen and pushing against the vaginal wall (g-spot). If you were to place a finger or two into a vagina while urination is occurring you can actually feel the urine passing through the urethra. This exercise can help you find its exact position. Once you have located the urethra, you have now accessed a very sweet spot that allows for hours of fun- the g-spot!

The Infamous G-Spot, And Yes, ALL Women Have One
Let me just take a second to explain some of the terms that are being used here so you are caught up to speed on how we chicks operate from the inside- In the diagrams in previous pages you will notice various terms – “Paraurethral” simply means ” near the urethra. The Paraurethral glands are also called “Skene’s Glands.” The quantity, size, and exact location of these glands varies within each woman, but generally it is found easily by inserting a finger into the vagina two inches in and on the top front wall, facing the pubic bone. During sexual arousal the paraurethral glands fill with fluid and may in most cases be felt through the vaginal wall as a more firm and puffy area. This is what people refer to as the g-spot.

The Myth Of A Female Prostate
We don’t have one. When people refer to a female prostate, they are really referring to the Paraurethral/Skenes glands. Since the female Paraurethral/Skenes glands do not have the same structure as the male prostate, it is not really accurate to say women have a prostate gland, but if you say ” Paraurethral/Skenes Glands,” people usually have no idea as to what you are talking about, so that is why people often call it the female prostate.

Okay, back to the g-spot, yeah, right there, right back to the g-spot!
The vagina fills with blood during sexual arousal and this causes vaginal lubrication, sometimes in significant amounts. So when a chick says, “You are making me so wet…” this is the clinical explanation for what is going on. ☺ When the tissue surrounding the urethra is engorged with blood the Paraurethral/Skenes glands produce and fill with prostatic fluid. This becomes a highly sensitive spot… the g-spot. This can be felt as a “hardening” of the tissue. (Chick’s version of the “hard-on”). The g-spot is in different areas for women, but generally it is located about two inches in and up within the vaginal wall.It may take some stimulation for a woman to really even begin to feel it, but after it is stimulated a bit, most women will be very happy, rosy-cheeked and ready to play!

Why Some People Think That Only Some Women Have G-spots
The ability of the g-spot to get hard or stay soft depends on the level of sexual arousal. This actually explains why so many people think that some women have a g-spot, and others don’t. If a woman is not aroused, the Paraurethral/Skenes glands are not filled with fluid and thus do not create a firm area on the vaginal wall. It may also be more of a prominent “bulge” in some women depending on how big their glands are, and how many they have. Think about it this way, like men’s penises vary in shape, size, and angle, so do women’s g-spots! Just a silly side note to chicks- don’t make the mistake that so many men make and start getting all self conscious about how big your g-spot is!

Doctors and other researchers have made the error in assuming that because they cannot always feel that “firm” area in a woman, that the woman they are examining must not have a g-spot. In reality, she is just simply not aroused enough or have her glands filled and thus it is not as easy to detect… it doesn’t mean it isn’t there! Kinda makes one want to just say… “duh!”

Clitoris Alert– The clitoris surrounds the urethra on three sides, as does the vestibule glands and bulbocavernous muscles, along the outer third of the urethra. The clitoris and vestibule glands also swell with blood during sexual arousal. In other words, it’s really pleasureful to have some playing with your clit!

Erotic massage female ejaculation

 

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Erotic female ejaculation

I have often had clients start out sexually oriented questions with such phrases as “Is this normal?” or ”I know I am weird for liking this, but… am I crazy for feeling or wanting this?”
When I worked as a counselor for a group home whose primary patients were sexually abused girls, it was made known to me by the administration that open discussion with the girls, regarding masturbation, was not appropriate. I was truly shocked regarding this attitude, particularly in a therapeutic environment where healing sexual issues was supposed to take place. However, the administration at that facility is just one example of the many societal influences against open communication of something as natural, beautiful and healthy as sex. I believe this to be just another example of how our society is truly misguided and in need of some serious liberation around sexual issues!
My question to our society is: “Why aren’t we teaching both men and women about their bodies, and sexuality and how we can all truly embrace it as something healthy and enjoyable?” I personally did not learn about female ejaculation until after my twenties. Can we just pause there for a moment… why is it that an educated, sexually aware woman in this day and age, should be in the dark about the very existence of female ejaculation until she’s over thirty to know about it? What is going on here!?!

I found out about female ejaculation after having a very open and enlightening discussion with a girlfriend, who told me that she did the “wildest thing” when she had an orgasm (and sometimes just when she was sexually aroused). I of course was very intrigued about this, and ended up asking her a lot of questions about how it happened for her. I then went to the Internet to find out more about it, and was met with a great deal of inaccurate, conflicting information about female ejaculation. What was a chick to do? I wanted to know more about it, and most importantly at the time, I wanted to know if I could do it too.
I decided that I simply had to try to see if I could do it. A short while later, while masturbating, low and behold… I did it! It was so simple! There were a few things that I learned and did in preparation that made it possible, and rest assured that I will share that information with you later.
You see, after I had that enlightening chat with my girlfriend, and did some research on the Internet, I was able to get enough pieces of information to solve the puzzle, and came up with sure-fire techniques that allowed me to do it. I knew that I had to get this information to the public if positive change was going to occur in order to educate women and men in understanding it and how it works.
Let me just say, that the first time I did it, I was amazed at how intense my orgasm was, and more amazed at the waterfall of cum gushing out of me. I was elated! I was laughing and filled with the most amazing sense of sexual release. I was truly euphoric! Let me also say that when my husband came home that night, he was elated too!
Once my elation calmed a bit, I began to reflect on this new found experience, and began to get incensed while thinking of all of the lost years of not knowing about this amazing way I could experience so much pleasure and have such an intense orgasm. I became outraged that our society, full of ridiculous fear around a women’s sexuality, would keep me and many other women in the dark about something that all women are capable of doing.
Since then, I have become a “woman on a mission,” to ensure that women and their partners be awakened not only to the fact that female ejaculation exists, but exactly what it is, how it works, and how to do it!
When I would call my girlfriends up and tell them about it, they too were amazed at how such a basic sexual ability of a woman could remain so hidden and why there was so much confusion about it. Needless to say, all my girlfriends are happily gushing during the most intense orgasms of their lives now, and I am happy to share with you all that I have learned and experienced so that you and your partner(s) can practice this sexually exquisite experience as well.

Tantric inner fulfillment

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Tantric body language

The map vs. the territory:On being fulfillment-centered

Imagine that you’re hungry right now, and you’re at a burger shop. If they offered you just the menu, would you settle for that? Or would you demand actual food? In real life people sometimes operate as if they don’t know the correct answer. If you want to buy a piece of land, would you settle for the map? Or would you want the territory? Often in our lives we chase down the symbol or map representing what we want – e.g. money, titles – instead of the actual thing that we want. A hundred dollar bill – basically a scrap of cotton – is intrinsically worthless. So are labels and titles.

The money and the titles are only good for the feelings and experiences they can get for us. When it comes to relationships, what you are actually seeking are feelings such as fulfillment, peace and contentment. Perhaps you thought that what you wanted was a particular person. Or a particular kind of person, with a certain kind of face and body. I am here to tell you that fulfillment is never a person – it is a feeling. And you may not even need a person to have that feeling. One sure way to chase away your own fulfillment is to compare yourself to others. Joe Bloggs has slept with this many hot women, he has his own harem, I wish that I had Jesse’s girl, and so on. Comparison gets you in trouble because if you compare yourself to those you perceive as better off than yourself, you become bitter. If you compare to those you perceive as worse off than yourself, you become vain. And frankly, bitter and vain people are not much fun to be around. If you’re ever going to compare, compare yourself to your former self, and notice how far you have come along. Comparison with others is an externalized operation which is antithetical to the deeply internalized, abiding, self- contained feeling which is fulfillment.

Know where your fulfillment lies. Some argue that the ultimate aim of everything we do in life is to get more love. You could be reading this book because you want more love from women, more love from your friends (in the form of approval), or more love from yourself. Of those three, only one is directly under your control – the love you have for yourself. And generally speaking, having greater success with women won’t make your friends like you any better (not the good friends in any case). And chances are that if you are not happy with yourself right now, no amount of success with women will ever make up for that. In fact, it only gets harder when you have what you thought would make you happy and still find happiness elusive. So make a decision right now to be comfortable in your own skin and to accept yourself completely exactly as you are right now. Why? Because there is no time when it’s not right now. Now is the only time. And true fulfillment can only come from sharing your joy, contentment and self-sufficiency with the rest of the world. Decide it, claim it and be it.

…If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. – Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Ch. 44 (transl. Stephen Mitchell)
If you’re perfectly OK right where you are, why would you need this book? The fact is that in order to reach your goals in dating or anything else in life, you have to believe that at every point along your journey of growth, you are complete. A sequoia seedling is always a sequoia at every point along its path to becoming a towering tree. You are always signaling to the universe “I am okay”, and the universe will agree with you. If you signal “Well, I’ll be okay if I just get this little part fixed, but I’m not quite okay right now,” then the universe will agree with you also.

Exercise

Your highest vision of yourself Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Imagine yourself as a child, maybe 7 years old. Remember then how badly you wanted to grow up, be tall, go places like the grownups, reach high shelves, drive a car. Remember that feeling of inadequacy that you had then and how you just couldn’t wait for all this to happen. Now bring a picture of your current adult self into the scene, and give your child self a big hug saying, “Hey, told you it was all going to be all right.” Now imagine a third version of yourself – a version from the future that embodies all the accomplishments and goals you are seeking right now. What does that person look like? Notice his voice, his gait, his demeanor. How does he look and sound? How does it feel to be him? Now have that future you come in and give the present you a big hug, saying “It’s all going to be all right.” Now let the three pictures of you from the past, present and the future merge into one another, leaving an image of that highest vision of yourself, and realize that that is you, right now. When you feel the empowering feelings that brings, squeeze your left fist twice. From now on, all you have to do to bring that empowering feeling back is to repeat that double squeeze.

Erotic sensual discreet spots

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Erotic sensual teasing

The P-Spot

Ah the perineum, that sweet little patch of skin located between the scrotum or vulva and anus. I’ll never forget the first time I happened upon the area in question; just tracing my fingers and then tongue over the perineum nearly had him levitating off the bed. It was like magic! Or so I thought, as it turns out the perineum is a sensory jackpot; jam-packed with nerve endings. Tantric sex practitioners have long known the power of stimulating the perineum. Stirring a little excitement in the area is said to unleash latent energy, release endorphins, and increase blood flow, all leading to greater pleasure.
Ok, I know that’s all well and good, but I bet your wondering how to unleash all this pleasure. It’s almost too easy! Even for the most self-conscious lover, this zone is user-friendly. It’s got none of the intimidating geography of places located slightly north or south. The perineum is a simple little patch of skin that just wants a little TLC. Massaging it, tracing your finger over it, sucking and licking it all do the trick. When massaging, pressure should be firm, but not fierce. Whilst licking or stroking this area it’s good to get a rhythm or pattern going. I like to trace a figure eight with my tongue which seems to work nicely :).
Stimulate the area is once your partner is already excited. During oral sex or a hand job, drop downwards and begin to fire things up in the P-spot. Another wonderful idea is to massage the area during or just before he cums. Guys, those lucky sucks, are more sensitive in this area than women, but we in the Naughty Girl Collective would like to remind you fellas not to neglect our P-spots either! Although it’s a little less powerful, P-spot stimulation is pleasurable for women as well. Many guys feel compelled to focus all their attention on the upper region of women’s genitals while going down on her or touching her. Don’t get me wrong … we would like you to spend a lot of time up there, but it’s worthwhile to dip down to the lower area and perineum as well. But don’t take my word for it, get down there and see for yourself!

 

Better Than Sex

Women love chocolate. This is an indisputable fact of life, gentlemen! Dark chocolate, sweet chocolate, white chocolate — you name it, they love it. There’s just something so delightful and comforting about chocolate that women simply cannot get enough of. Some women even claim that chocolate takes precedence over sex. With that in mind, imagine how amazing a delicate and creative combination of chocolate and sexual activity would be for your woman. Providing your sweetheart with a mixture of sweet eats and ever sweeter loving will have her eating out of your hand. Literally.
The key to planning a night of chocolate love is decadence. The more sweet things involved, the more excited and pleased your lover will be. In preparation, you should invest in all things chocolate. Edible chocolate body paint and a standard box of assorted chocolates are all essential props to purchase for a wild evening of chocolate loving. You should also have other sensual foods on hand, such as strawberries and whipped cream, which are both excellent compliments to our tasty friend.
Now you’ve got all of the basics, let the chocolate games begin! Get your honey into bed and slowly feed her strawberries dipped in whipped cream. Consider this an appetizer, if you will. Once her taste buds are suitably aroused, start exciting her in other ways with soft, sexy foreplay. While undressing her, place small pieces of chocolate into her mouth. This little trick is sure to really get her motor running, as all of her senses will be simultaneously stimulated. When you’ve fully undressed your honey, you can break out the body paint. Start by dipping your fingers into the chocolate. Allow your lady to suck the sweetness off your fingers while you stimulate her clit with your other hand. Continue by smearing the chocolate paint all over her breasts and stomach. You also get to share in the chocolate festivities when you thoroughly lick her clean. Encourage your lover to “paint” you as well. This way, she can taste the chocolately goodness when she gives you a tongue bath. I suggest that after all this scrumptious foreplay, you orally pleasure your honey while continuing to feed her chocolate pieces. By combining oral sex and chocolate, women’s two best friends, you will be giving your lover a truly unique and totally satisfying experience.

Erotic relaxation foreplay techniques

Relaxation massage London

Erotic relaxation foreplay

Foreplay Techniques

Below are some examples of foreplay techniques you can use to get your partner in the right mood before sexual intercourse. These techniques can be used together, but remember to start slowly and build on the passion. If you move too quickly, you won’t achieve the desired effect.

Dirty talking

Never underestimate the power of words to turn on your partner. Imagine looking into your partner’s eyes over dinner at a nice restaurant and whispering, “You look so sexy tonight I can barely keep my hands off of you.” You can even follow it up with a description of what you’d like to do to her. For example, you might say, “When we get home, I’m going to slowly undress you, lay you down on the bed, and give you the best full body massage you’ve ever had.” This kind of comments will make your partner feel desirable and that will increase her arousal, plus she’ll be able to start fantasizing about how your hands are going to feel caressing her body and that’s definitely going to build her anticipation for more. Just remember that you need to follow through with whatever you say. If you promise her an amazing massage, then you need to deliver. Women are not turned on by promise breakers.
Gentle touching

I’ve met with women who complain that men don’t know how to touch them. By this they usually mean that men don’t know how to be gentle. For example, they grope their breasts instead of stroking them. A gentle touch even in the most non-sexual place can have incredible results. There’s a scene in a movie that illustrates this point. The movie, Don Juan DeMarco, starred Johnny Depp as a man who believed he was a world class lover who only thought about pleasing the women he was with. In an early scene, he meets a strange woman in a restaurant and sets her on fire simply by stroking part of her hand. While some may argue Johnny Depp could have that effect on a woman without touching her, there is truth to the message the character is conveying. Softly stroking your partner’s shoulders or gliding your hands lightly over her back can send shivery tingles through her body the way other types of touches won’t, especially early on in the arousal process.
Kissing

Kissing is an incredible type of foreplay but it is often misused because partners don’t communicate what they like and what they don’t like. There are many, many different ways of kissing romantically and each way is appropriate at different stages of the process. For example, if your partner is merely aroused, you wouldn’t want
to begin using a lot of tongue while you’re kissing. Most women seem to dislike a lot of tongue use anyway which surprises most men. Gentle kissing is best at first, including brushing your lips over her fingers, her palm, her earlobes, her inner thighs, even her toes. Remember kissing does not always have to involve her lips. There’s a lot more of her body to touch and taste. As her level of arousal increases, your kissing can become more passionate. If you do use your tongue, only use the tip to touch her tongue or her lips gently. Unless you know for a fact that it turns your partner on, don’t thrust your entire tongue into her mouth. Most women find this to be a turn off.
Tickling

Now when I say tickling, I don’t mean to hold her down on the bed and tickle her until she urinates on herself. mean something a little more mature. Take a feather (if you can’t find a feather, then go to your local pet store and check out the cat toy section – you’ll find a number of items you can use as substitutes for feathers) and very gently graze your partner’s skin with it. Pay special attention to her erogenous zones. Your touch must be very light, so the feather just barely brushes against her skin. This will send shivers through her body. If she’s naked, you may want to start at the top of her head and work down her neck, around her breasts, along the inner part of her thighs, on the back of her knees, and so forth.

Massage (MASSAGE)

Remember that massage we discussed under “Dirty Talking”? Well, that’s considered foreplay as well. Massages are a good choice for two reasons. First, stress hinders your partner’s ability to orgasm. A massage will help her release all of that tension and stress so she is physically and mentally ready for pleasure. Second, a sensual massage will further her excitement and can take her to the next level. You don’t have to read books on massage to learn the tricks of the trade either. All you need to know is how to rub your partner’s body so she gets a pleasurable feeling. You also need to know where to rub. Some women love back massages, others like their partners to focus on their shoulders or legs, while a few prefer foot massages. If you’ve never given her a massage before, I recommend trying each of them until you discover which one pleases her the most. Also, there are a number of massage oils on the market which work amazingly well at helping set the mood and intensifying the experience. Oils that warm when they come in contact with human skin are a wonderful choice, particularly during the winter when she is feeling a little chilled.

Give her a bath

Women enjoy being pampered and giving her a bath is a great way to do that while also getting her in the mood for sex. Here’s what you do. Surprise her by filling the bathtub with warm water and bubbles. Have a glass of her favourite wine or beverage ready beside the tub as well. When she slides into the water, take a soft sponge or cloth and begin to gently rub the soapy water over her body. Remember to be gentle and to avoid contact with her vagina. Near the end of the soaping, you can come very close to her vagina, by rubbing the sponge along her inner thigh. Then start slowly rinsing her off, possibly with a shower massager is you have one. When she gets out of the tub, have a warm fluffy towel ready and begin drying her off yourself. In fact, if your tub is comfortable enough, you can sit behind her in the tub for even more erotic foreplay.
Cooling her off

While the shower and the warm massage oils may be perfect for the cold winter months, these two ideas may work better in the hot summer months. The first idea is to have your partner lie naked on the bed or couch. Make sure that the majority of her erogenous zones are facing upward or are easy to reach. Now take a hand held paper fan and gently wave it over each of those areas. If you don’t have a fan, you can also blow on the areas yourself. Like the tickling, this sensation will make her shiver with delight. The second idea again involves her erogenous zones, but this time you’ll cool her off with an ice cube instead. Don’t have an ice cube handy? Try using a popsicle, then gently lick away the melted part on her skin.

Complimenting her

Remember that women are generally more self-conscious about their bodies than men are. That means that even though they are enjoying your touches, in the back of their minds they are wondering how they look. To relax them, you should find chances during foreplay to compliment her body. Tell her how beautiful her breasts are, how perfect her butt is, how soft her skin feels, etc. Just whisper the comments in her ear between kisses or while you’re massaging her body. But be sincere.

Teasing

As things heat up, you can move on to teasing as a form of foreplay. When your partner is in the plateau stage, she is going to be feeling the need for sex just as much as you are. Of course, the more sexual tension builds inside her the better her orgasm is going to be as well, so don’t give in too quickly. Keep doing everything you’ve been doing, but increase the intensity a little. For examples, your gentle touches should be strokes and your light kisses should be a little deeper. If she asks you what you’re waiting for, simply reply, “I’m waiting until you want to feel me inside you.” Don’t give in the first time she asks. Hold off a little longer. This may be difficult for both of you, but the wait will definitely be worth it.
Partial penetration

Right before you decide engage in actual intercourse, you may want to step up the teasing. You see, researchers have found that when women are highly aroused and near the height of the plateau stage, they feel a yearning to be penetrated. That’s why so many women resort to using dildos and vibrators during masturbation. When your partner is begging you to fulfil that need, you can tease her a little more by only penetrating her vagina with the very tip of your penis. Then very slowly use more during each stroke. By the time you reach full penetration, she’ll be groaning with relief and pleasure.
These ten ideas are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to foreplay. After you try these ideas, you should begin experimenting with some techniques of your own. The more you learn about your partner’s body and what pleases her the easier it will be for you to decide how to take her from those flickering flames of arousal to a total inferno of desire.

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Sensual erotic pre-play

 New Sex Tricks

Make his satisfaction skyrocket with five hot (and cold) new sex tricks. Find out how to turn him on with deliciously unexpected strokes, pressure, and temperature changes at Cosmopolitan.com. In your pursuit of becoming a great lover, there’s an important lesson to be learned: It really helps to mix things up and vary your technique. “By experimenting with different degrees of touch and temperature, you will expose your man’s body to a variety of thrilling physical reactions he hasn’t felt before,” says biopsychologist Mark S. Blumberg, Ph.D., author of Body Heat. “These diverse sensations dramatically increase arousal, heighten skin sensitivity and release pleasure-fuelling endorphins.” To find out how to treat your guy to some of the most electrifying sensations he’s never experienced, read on.

Heat Him Up!

Why it works: Adding heat to the right spots on your guy’s bod will actually boost his sensitivity to touch. “Applying warmth raises his thermal temperature, causing his blood flow to increase, which, in turn, makes his skin more receptive to stimulation,” explains Blumberg. And a little heat goes a long way.

Mind-blowing moves: Fire up your sack sessions by breathing new life into foreplay…literally. “When you blow on his skin, your warm breath creates a change in temperature, which heightens arousal,” says Stella Resnick, Ph.D., author of The Pleasure Zone. Simply let your parted lips linger over his more sensitive spots, like his stomach or neck, and gently exhale. Juliana,* 23, swears this technique is not all hot air. “My guy actually quivers whenever I blow on his earlobes and nipples while we’re fooling around,” she says. “He always tells me he gets such a rush when I do that.”

If you want to bring your man to the boiling point, try this hot-water trick. Put a warm — not scalding — cup of H2O by the bed. Before you go down on him, take a sip to get your mouth nice and toasty, and swallow. Then take another small sip, but this time hold on to the liquid as you take him in your mouth, swish the water around his member for a few seconds and then swallow. If any of it spills on him, just lick it off; we promise, he won’t mind one little bit.
Another trick that’s sure to raise his temperature: Use heat-activated lube. Squeeze a nickel-size dollop onto your palm and rub your hands together. Then gently massage it all over his shaft and testicles. But take your time. The longer you rub, the warmer it gets, and what you really want is for him to enjoy the slow burn.

Play Rough

Why it works: “Men love when women are more aggressive and wild in bed,” says Resnick. “It communicates desire and unbridled lust. It shows that you’re hot for him.” Periodically let your inner animal out and turn your guy on to some seriously primal passion.
Mind-blowing moves: Putting a little muscle into your sexual MO is as much about attitude as it is technique. So from the very start, you need to make sure your man knows who’s boss. Set off the action with a must-have- you-now lip-lock: Push your lips into his and grab a bunch of his hair and pull as you’re playing tonsil hockey. “The scalp is loaded with nerve endings, so tugging on his hair releases feel-good endorphins,” explains Resnick. “Instead of causing him pain, it will actually feel pleasurable to him.” Then proceed to treat your guy to a rough massage as you knead, rub and trail your nails over every inch of his bod…and don’t be afraid to use a little force. “Men’s skin tends to be thicker than women’s, so they can often handle — and want — more pressure,” says sex expert Laura Corn, author of The Great American Sex Diet.
That tough-love technique applies to his manhood as well (only his shaft though; his testicles demand more delicate attention). “Most women assume that men’s genitals are as sensitive as their own,” says Resnick. “But many men actually prefer a firm grip when they’re being manually stimulated.” With that in mind, ask him to let you know just how rough he wants you to get the next time you’re heading south for some lusty manhandling. Once you’ve worked him into a frenzy, grab his wrists and bind them together with a scarf, hop on top and have your way with him. Another rough, raunchy move: Tell your guy that you want him to take you from behind. But don’t make him do all the work. Move your pelvis back and forth in sync with his thrusts, so your bodies are slapping against each other when they make contact.
You can even be a little brutish with him in the usually tame missionary position, as Jordan, 32, discovered with his randy girlfriend. “I used to think the missionary position was kind of boring. You know, the same old, same old,” he says. “Then I met Sasha, and she changed my mind. We were having sex with me on top, and all of a sudden she grabbed my butt cheeks, squeezed them tight and pulled me so close to her. It was like she wanted my whole body to be inside of her. Then she started swatting my behind…hard! It actually hurt a little, but at the same time it was pretty exciting!”

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Lingam erotic clean fun

So now we’re getting to the nitty gritty – cunnilingus technique. But wait! Don’t jump in feet first just yet. There are a couple of things you need to know before embarking on a cunnilingus session, specifically, how to get a woman warmed up. Compare a woman to an oven – you can’t bake a cake unless the oven has been preheated. If your partner hasn’t been “preheated,” she will not be receptive to cunnilingus at all and your efforts will most likely be lost. The best you could hope for during a cunnilingus session in which the woman hasn’t been warmed up first is an orgasm after a really, really, really long time.
There are two basic things you want to make sure happen before you start cunnilingus. First, your partner must be mentally in the mood. Then she must physically be relaxed, comfortable and as a result, receptive. You can get creative – while old standards work great (and we’ll get into that here in just a minute) you will also want to take into account your partner’s preferences and your relationship together. For example, for a woman who can’t stand to have her feet touched, our suggestion of a foot rub to get her relaxed isn’t going to go very far, is it? Feel free to come up with your own ideas – just remember the basics: get her mentally turned on and physically relaxed.

The Biggest Difference Between Men and Women

No, we’re not talking about the obvious here. We’re talking about mental differences between men and woman and that is generally considered to be the biggest one. Specifically, we’re referring to the different ways men and women get turned on. Men are visual creatures and this is why the pornography industry brings in billions of dollars per year. Just the sight of a large pair of soft, bouncy breasts can get a man turned on in a millisecond. This is not so with women. Very, very rarely a woman is turned on by something (or someone) she sees. For women, it is mostly mental. A steamy novel will get her juices flowing before any film or movie will. It is time for you to learn to take advantage of this knowledge and apply it to your cunnilingus technique. Yes, we’d like for you to think of getting her mentally turned on as part of your technique, so you never forget to do it. How do you get a woman mentally turned on? Romance. No, don’t cringe! Men couldn’t care less about romantic dinners, flowers or any of the like but women can go from zero to hot and horny with these simple gestures. If you’ve been married for years and a romantic dinner doesn’t seem up your alley, this is where you can use your imagination. What would be romantic for the two of you? It can be something like an elaborate gift or a simple compliment. Most guys can’t grab this stuff off the top off their head though, so we’ve got a few ideas for you.

Massage

With this one, you can kill two birds with one stone. If you’re not skilled with your hands in that area, book her an appointment with a professional masseuse. You’ll get the gift-giving bonus too! Women love massages – not only does it relax them, it makes their responsibilities melt away and as a result, they feel loved and cared for.
Thoughtful Gifts

These can be large or small, but they must be thoughtful, not generic! Getting her that new can opener (even though she’s complained about the old one for weeks and desperately needs a new one) will not do the job here! So let’s make a rule of thumb – if you’re getting her a gift, don’t get anything that can even remotely be construed as practical! Although it may seem a waste of money to you, it makes your partner feel truly special. Jewelry, Bath & Body Works goodies, comfortable sleepwear, the delicious perfume she’s been eyeing flowers, etc. are all great ideas. If you do choose to get her flowers, don’t get her a plant! Even though flowers will die in a few days, a plant is just another thing she’ll have to take care of and in time will become a hassle (unless she absolutely loves plants).
Dinner

Whether you take her out, bring dinner home or cook for her, letting her forget about what to put on the table when she gets home from work can do wonders for her sexual mood! Make an effort to eat with her at the dinner table if this is something you don’t normally do – the idea here is to spend time with her and enjoy being in her presence during an everyday activity. You can also turn this idea into anything, such as going bowling together, taking a walk in a nearby park or just a quiet drive to the ice cream parlor on a hot summer evening. Your time is valuable to her and is probably better than any gift you could give.
Chores

believe it or not, chores are to women what lingerie is to men. Nothing will get a woman more instantly turned on and inclined toward her partner than if he were to do a few chores without being asked! Yes, we said without being asked. It will only take a few minutes of your time (such as taking out the trash or doing the dishes) but here again; the idea is to lighten your lady’s load. In doing so, she will not have much on her mind except what you’ll be doing to her next.
Be Original

If you’re unsure about how to mentally get her in the mood, just follow this simple rule: break her out of her daily routine. It is that daily grind that gets women so worn down that they are turned off or “not in the mood.” If you can lessen that or break her out of it (even for a short time), you will most likely succeed in getting her mentally turned on.

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Tantric lingam variations

Know Your Partner

BREASTS (BREAST STIMULATION)

Compared with the rest of a woman’s sexual anatomy, breasts are relatively simple. The nipples rest on top of the dark circles of the areolae and become erect when aroused. For all their erotic significance, the breasts are really quite similar to sweat glands, and their primary role, as any breast-feeding mother will attest, is as a source of warm milk for babies. One could come up with interesting theories as to why in our bottle-fed, nurture-starved Western culture, large breasts have become such a powerful symbol of desire. Whatever the reason is, this flood of images has led many men (and women) to the mistaken belief that size reflects sexual appetite: the larger the breasts, the more sexually desirous a woman is. In actual fact, a woman’s sexual sensitivity, experience, and self-perception determine the responsiveness of her breasts, as they do with her sexuality in general. Size has nothing to do with it.
In the “buttons and knobs” view of arousal, men often zero in on their partner’s nipples. Though some women enjoy immediate nipple stimulation, many prefer a lighter, more indirect touch to begin with. Generally, try to circle around your partner’s breasts to increase her anticipation and desire before actually touching the nipples themselves. Some women, however, experience very little sensation when their breasts or nipples are touched, so don’t be disappointed. Rubbing your fingers together to warm them before touching her nipples will increase the amount of chi, or energy, and can help stimulate her. As you touch her nipples lightly, you may be able to feel a current of electricity flowing between your finger and her nipple. Licking her nipples with your tongue is often very effective since your tongue has a lot of chi. Sometimes, as with many men, the nerve pathways to the nipples need activating, which can occur with gentle, gradual stimulation over time. But your partner needs to be open to this slow awakening.

 

 

Becoming a Multi-Orgasmic Couple

Pleasuring Your Partner

Unlike men’s arousal, women’s has no precipice. True, many women will have orgasms that they find so fully satisfying (and climactic) that they do not need to continue making love. And as we discussed earlier, some women even ejaculate. But since women do not have to worry about losing an erection or spilling their seed, they can generally surrender themselves to pleasure in a way that men cannot. Nevertheless, women do not fall into bliss without effort. Reaching orgasm, multiple orgasms, and expanded orgasms requires knowledge, skill, and effort of women just as it does of men. Here’s how you can help.

In Sexual Kung Fu all aspects of touch are seen as part of the union between man and woman. Touching hands or lips is as much a part of harmonizing with one another as is intercourse. As with self-pleasuring, you probably have your own way of pleasuring your partner, and though most women have the same general erogenous zones, each woman, of course, has different sensitivities at different times. Try out these Taoist techniques, but let your partner’s preferences be your guide.
“The essence of foreplay is slowness,” states the Discourse on the Highest Tao Under Heaven. “If one proceeds slowly and patiently, the woman will be exceedingly joyful. She will adore you like a brother and love you like a parent. One who has mastered this Tao deserves to be called a heavenly gentleman.” Because anticipation and growing intensity are important in bringing your partner’s desire to a boil, you should begin with passionate kissing. Begin at her extremities rather than her genitals. Caress, massage, and kiss her hands and wrists as well as her feet and ankles. Move up her arms and legs to her abdomen. Stimulating points along the meridians of her body (energy channels) will help increase her sexual excitement: there are many points along or near her spine (the Back Channel), such as the small of her back, her neck, and her ears. The underside of the arms and the inside of the thighs are also very sensitive on most women. By caress, we mean that your touch should generally be featherweight, although it can be heavier when you are stimulating larger muscles such as her buttocks.

HER BREASTS (BREAST STIMULATION)

As we mentioned earlier, when you approach her breasts, spiral around them in ever narrower circles until you slowly reach her nipples. Most men go for the nipples too soon. (Old breast -feeding instincts, perhaps.) Circling them slowly will draw her sexual energy to her nipples. Also, remember to rub your thumbs and forefingers together to generate more chi Finally, touch her nipples lightly, and try rolling them between your thumbs and index fingers. (You can touch both breasts or just focus on one at a time.) Some women enjoy harder squeezing and fondling, but let your partner’s responses guide you. As we already mentioned, your tongue is highly charged with chi, and using it to lick, s piral around, and suck on her nipple is often an excellent way to arouse her. If her nipples become engorged and erect, you are doing something right.