Foreplay Techniques
Below are some examples of foreplay techniques you can use to get your partner in the right mood before sexual intercourse. These techniques can be used together, but remember to start slowly and build on the passion. If you move too quickly, you won’t achieve the desired effect.
Dirty talking
Never underestimate the power of words to turn on your partner. Imagine looking into your partner’s eyes over dinner at a nice restaurant and whispering, “You look so sexy tonight I can barely keep my hands off of you.” You can even follow it up with a description of what you’d like to do to her. For example, you might say, “When we get home, I’m going to slowly undress you, lay you down on the bed, and give you the best full body massage you’ve ever had.” This kind of comments will make your partner feel desirable and that will increase her arousal, plus she’ll be able to start fantasizing about how your hands are going to feel caressing her body and that’s definitely going to build her anticipation for more. Just remember that you need to follow through with whatever you say. If you promise her an amazing massage, then you need to deliver. Women are not turned on by promise breakers.
Gentle touching
I’ve met with women who complain that men don’t know how to touch them. By this they usually mean that men don’t know how to be gentle. For example, they grope their breasts instead of stroking them. A gentle touch even in the most non-sexual place can have incredible results. There’s a scene in a movie that illustrates this point. The movie, Don Juan DeMarco, starred Johnny Depp as a man who believed he was a world class lover who only thought about pleasing the women he was with. In an early scene, he meets a strange woman in a restaurant and sets her on fire simply by stroking part of her hand. While some may argue Johnny Depp could have that effect on a woman without touching her, there is truth to the message the character is conveying. Softly stroking your partner’s shoulders or gliding your hands lightly over her back can send shivery tingles through her body the way other types of touches won’t, especially early on in the arousal process.
Kissing
Kissing is an incredible type of foreplay but it is often misused because partners don’t communicate what they like and what they don’t like. There are many, many different ways of kissing romantically and each way is appropriate at different stages of the process. For example, if your partner is merely aroused, you wouldn’t want
to begin using a lot of tongue while you’re kissing. Most women seem to dislike a lot of tongue use anyway which surprises most men. Gentle kissing is best at first, including brushing your lips over her fingers, her palm, her earlobes, her inner thighs, even her toes. Remember kissing does not always have to involve her lips. There’s a lot more of her body to touch and taste. As her level of arousal increases, your kissing can become more passionate. If you do use your tongue, only use the tip to touch her tongue or her lips gently. Unless you know for a fact that it turns your partner on, don’t thrust your entire tongue into her mouth. Most women find this to be a turn off.
Tickling
Now when I say tickling, I don’t mean to hold her down on the bed and tickle her until she urinates on herself. mean something a little more mature. Take a feather (if you can’t find a feather, then go to your local pet store and check out the cat toy section – you’ll find a number of items you can use as substitutes for feathers) and very gently graze your partner’s skin with it. Pay special attention to her erogenous zones. Your touch must be very light, so the feather just barely brushes against her skin. This will send shivers through her body. If she’s naked, you may want to start at the top of her head and work down her neck, around her breasts, along the inner part of her thighs, on the back of her knees, and so forth.
Massage (MASSAGE)
Remember that massage we discussed under “Dirty Talking”? Well, that’s considered foreplay as well. Massages are a good choice for two reasons. First, stress hinders your partner’s ability to orgasm. A massage will help her release all of that tension and stress so she is physically and mentally ready for pleasure. Second, a sensual massage will further her excitement and can take her to the next level. You don’t have to read books on massage to learn the tricks of the trade either. All you need to know is how to rub your partner’s body so she gets a pleasurable feeling. You also need to know where to rub. Some women love back massages, others like their partners to focus on their shoulders or legs, while a few prefer foot massages. If you’ve never given her a massage before, I recommend trying each of them until you discover which one pleases her the most. Also, there are a number of massage oils on the market which work amazingly well at helping set the mood and intensifying the experience. Oils that warm when they come in contact with human skin are a wonderful choice, particularly during the winter when she is feeling a little chilled.
Give her a bath
Women enjoy being pampered and giving her a bath is a great way to do that while also getting her in the mood for sex. Here’s what you do. Surprise her by filling the bathtub with warm water and bubbles. Have a glass of her favourite wine or beverage ready beside the tub as well. When she slides into the water, take a soft sponge or cloth and begin to gently rub the soapy water over her body. Remember to be gentle and to avoid contact with her vagina. Near the end of the soaping, you can come very close to her vagina, by rubbing the sponge along her inner thigh. Then start slowly rinsing her off, possibly with a shower massager is you have one. When she gets out of the tub, have a warm fluffy towel ready and begin drying her off yourself. In fact, if your tub is comfortable enough, you can sit behind her in the tub for even more erotic foreplay.
Cooling her off
While the shower and the warm massage oils may be perfect for the cold winter months, these two ideas may work better in the hot summer months. The first idea is to have your partner lie naked on the bed or couch. Make sure that the majority of her erogenous zones are facing upward or are easy to reach. Now take a hand held paper fan and gently wave it over each of those areas. If you don’t have a fan, you can also blow on the areas yourself. Like the tickling, this sensation will make her shiver with delight. The second idea again involves her erogenous zones, but this time you’ll cool her off with an ice cube instead. Don’t have an ice cube handy? Try using a popsicle, then gently lick away the melted part on her skin.
Complimenting her
Remember that women are generally more self-conscious about their bodies than men are. That means that even though they are enjoying your touches, in the back of their minds they are wondering how they look. To relax them, you should find chances during foreplay to compliment her body. Tell her how beautiful her breasts are, how perfect her butt is, how soft her skin feels, etc. Just whisper the comments in her ear between kisses or while you’re massaging her body. But be sincere.
Teasing
As things heat up, you can move on to teasing as a form of foreplay. When your partner is in the plateau stage, she is going to be feeling the need for sex just as much as you are. Of course, the more sexual tension builds inside her the better her orgasm is going to be as well, so don’t give in too quickly. Keep doing everything you’ve been doing, but increase the intensity a little. For examples, your gentle touches should be strokes and your light kisses should be a little deeper. If she asks you what you’re waiting for, simply reply, “I’m waiting until you want to feel me inside you.” Don’t give in the first time she asks. Hold off a little longer. This may be difficult for both of you, but the wait will definitely be worth it.
Partial penetration
Right before you decide engage in actual intercourse, you may want to step up the teasing. You see, researchers have found that when women are highly aroused and near the height of the plateau stage, they feel a yearning to be penetrated. That’s why so many women resort to using dildos and vibrators during masturbation. When your partner is begging you to fulfil that need, you can tease her a little more by only penetrating her vagina with the very tip of your penis. Then very slowly use more during each stroke. By the time you reach full penetration, she’ll be groaning with relief and pleasure.
These ten ideas are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to foreplay. After you try these ideas, you should begin experimenting with some techniques of your own. The more you learn about your partner’s body and what pleases her the easier it will be for you to decide how to take her from those flickering flames of arousal to a total inferno of desire.
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