How to achieve female ejaculation
My first female ejaculation experience, and how it can help you understand how to achieve female ejaculation
For years I would often feel like I had to pee during sexual activity, and in fact, I often used to try not to go pee before sex, because I figured the full bladder was what was giving me that added pleasureful feeling. I was a bit off on that assumption to say the least. In the beginning I indicated that after learning of female ejaculation I decided that I simply had to try to see if I could do it. It was after having found out that a girlfriend of mine did it, and having seen it on the web. I felt so intrigued, that I began to learn all I could about it. The following is some detail of how I was able to first discover that it was not only possible for me, but for all women.
I am the curious type, as well as analytical…so when my girlfriend mentioned that she had the “oddity” of being able to squirt out cum, I had to know more. “How much are you talking about?” I asked. My friend paused and said… “…A lot!,“ up to two cups -“Wow,” I said, “how long have you been doing this?” She said that it was around the time that she had her first child. Now my mind was churning out reasons as to why it would only have started for her then. I had a child, and yet nothing of the like had happened to me. I wondered if it had a correlation of some sort, so I continued with my questions. I asked her if she thought she could be peeing due to some “freaky” incontinence that occurred during her pregnancy. She assured me that it was not urine. She explained that it was a sweet smelling watery cum, unlike the kind that oozes out of the vagina when we chicks get excited, which is thicker and milkier. This was a large amount (up to two cups of fluid) and it shot out of her with force.
My analytical mind was racing for a cause as I continued my probing… “How far does it shoot out?” She laughed, and explained that sometimes it seemed to shoot half way across the room. I was floored! That was something I had never heard of, and it was certainly fascinating. “Do you do it every time you have an orgasm?” I asked. “No, in fact I don’t have to have an orgasm to do it” she said. Now I was really confused. I was thinking that this had to be some odd medical condition and that she should make an appointment to see her Gynecologist. Yet, before I suggested something like that, I wanted to know more. We talked for about an hour, discussing everything from what it felt like to how it happened, and what we thought it was. Now any one who knows me, knows that I cannot leave anything this “juicy” left to doubt… so I went to the almighty Internet to get my answers. What I found was some really confusing and contradicting information. No matter what article, journal, book or web site I found, nothing was telling me adequate or accurate information. I was starving for the truth, and felt I had nowhere to turn. How was I supposed to learn if I could do this if I could not find anything that said if it was a normal or a common female function? Even my own Gynecologist was not helpful and said that it only happened in some women, and nothing more. My husband and I even rented some of the most “popular” female ejaculation educational/adult videos and let me say that they were ALL a complete let down. They all possessed one of two qualities (or both) they were inaccurate or boring! I wanted to know if all women could do it, or if only some women could. If only some women could do it, why? What was it about them that allowed them to do this intriguing sexual display? Was there something about their ability to produce fluid, was it the way they were put together that was different than the women who did not do it?
I wondered if I could do it, but also wondered why I had not. If I was a woman that was to later find out I could, then why hadn’t I? I went to several really elaborate sex education books for research and only found reassurance from them that if I were one of the rare women that could do it, that it was not a dysfunctional thing and to not be embarrassed. That was it! How was I supposed to learn about female ejaculation and what it was all about if I could not get answers anywhere? I called my girlfriend again, this time determined to talk it through until I figured out how to do it. From my research, I knew that I needed to be sexually stimulated for this to happen, and I had a feeling that I was going to need to stimulate my g-spot. Then my girlfriend said the magic words during our conversation that got me headed in the right direction. She said that before it happened that she always felt like she had to pee, and instead of holding back she would push, and push hard. All my memories of feeling like I had to pee during sex came rushing into my mind, and I thought that if I had simply pushed, rather than held back (what I thought would be urine) then I would have been doing this sexy release too!
I decided that if I were going to try doing this that I would first try it by myself to avoid feeling inhibited or concerned about what it was going to be like in front of my hubby. Then I decided that it would be best to masturbate in a place where I wouldn’t be “psyching” myself out that I was going to get the entire bedroom soaked. Thus, I decided to do it in the bathtub without water, so that I would be sure to see it if I was able to do it, rather than have it disappear into water and not be sure.
I thought to myself why I would have held back before, and realized that most women hold back during sex feeling that if they were to push that they might have pee, poop, or have gas come out and how embarrassing that might be to our unsuspecting lover! So before I began my great adventure, I made sure to use the bathroom so that I was on “empty” in every category. I peed every drop I could squeeze so that there would be no left of urine that would come out. I wanted to be absolutely sure that if something gushed out, that it was this mysterious, sweet; watery cum I had heard about. Stripped down, and laying on a towel in the bathtub, I began my masturbation session. Instead of turning to a fantasy, I simply tuned into my body, becoming very aware of all of the sensations that I was having. I used a g-spot toy of mine to stimulate my g-spot (Paraurethral/Skenes Glands) as well as my fingers over my clitoris. I wanted to make sure I was very sexually aroused so that if I was going to be able to do it that I would have a lot of cum gush out.
Self talk is important in building sexual excitement, so one thing I did say to myself was that if this did not happen, that I would just try again later so as not to put any unnecessary psychological pressure on myself. I did not want to give myself any performance anxiety. That was another reason I wanted to first try this alone.
I felt my body responding to the masturbation and a few times, I began to feel a slight hint that I might have to pee. I continued to stimulate myself and finally it was there… an overwhelming feeling of having to pee. Knowing that I had just urinated (a lot) I knew that I did not have to pee, and I also knew that this was my cue to push. Just as I began to have an orgasm and the feeling of having to urinate was at it’s height, I pushed hard… low and behold a gush of sweet, watery cum came out. It came out fast and with force. There was about two cups worth just gushing out of me. I looked down and could not believe my eyes. My thighs were soaked, the towel was soaked, some was running down the drain, and all I kept thinking was “I did it!” Never mind that it was the most intense orgasm I had ever had in my life, I was victorious!
Just for a second, I began to second-guess myself and thought… “Well, maybe it was pee…” but I reminded myself that it was cum, and then took the towel and smelled it. Sure enough it was filled with the sweet watery fluid that my friend and research had been describing. I was ecstatic, giddy, and proud. I was really happy to think that I was able to do this sexy, powerful, sexual release and I was laughing out loud in elation. Yayyyy!
My happiness soon turned to frustration. I was simply frustrated that I was in my early thirties, a sexually educated woman, mother, and psychotherapist and I did not know about female ejaculation, let alone know that I could do it? This was ridiculous! Why is any woman out there unaware that she can do this… what is wrong with our society that we have not researched this enough, or have it taught as basic sex education? During my research, I found an article regarding a ban in England of a movie that had female ejaculation in it because it was said to be “unnatural and lewd.” The movie makers won the case as it was later determined that this was not a “freaky” act, rather it was no different than a man ejaculating in a adult movie, and thus it was deemed viewable by the adult population.
My goal in writing this is to get the word out there. I spent many long days and nights researching and interviewing for this so that I could empower women and their partners to be educated about this. I hope that you will talk about this, and spread the news so that we all can finally celebrate women’s sexuality, and not deny it’s very capacities.
Needless to say, I have found my own personal relationship with female ejaculation to be rewarding through its intense physical pleasure in addition to its empowering psychological effects. I love it, my husband loves it, and I am sure you and your partner will too!
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